Welcome
*ft. Night Owl & Queen Bea*
Night Owl welcomed viewers to Arena 81 & thanked us for subscribing to MASQTV.
He introduced himself, then coughed as a blue haze drifted over from his cigar-chomping, whiskey-downing colleague, Queen Bea, who he also dutifully introduced.
The duo spoke in anticipation of tonight’s card, then let the proceedings begin…
Come On and Slam
*ft. Uncle Slam*
MASQ Matchmaker, Uncle Slam, marched out to Jerry Goldsmith’s stately “The Parachutes”. The stars-and-stripes clad patriot played to the crowd en route to the Hexagon. Stepping inside, he was handed a mic to address the audience.
Echoing the broadcasters, he expressed gratitude to those in attendance and watching from home. MASQ had been through the wringer with The Mistery; a full investigation had been launched and the company was happily cooperating.
Freaky weather events are so last season, though, and Slam wanted to focus on the future. He’d headhunted the hottest, hungriest Masqots in the business, all of whom wanted to prove themselves and, yes, make money and win titles.
That’s what brought everyone to Bloody Snowflakes, of course – the quarter-finals of the Mettle Championship Tournament! The finals would be held in one week’s time at New Game+.
Slam wanted to confess to Santa: he’d been very naughty. He’d kept a secret from the Masqots; the fans deserved a reward for their loyalty, it’s Christmas, and this is what the Mettle title was all about… Every contest in the tournament was a stipulation match!
Slam grinned at the consequent pop. He handed the ring announcer, Statocaster, some revised flashcards, then left the ring in time for the first bout…
Falls Count Anywhere
La Leona Del Sol
*vs.*
Medico Muerte
Medico challenged Leona to a tie-up, which the Lionhearted Luchadora accepted. Muerte used his weight advantage to monkey flip her into the corner! Del Sol staggered back into a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, followed by a textbook hilo, then a baseball slide which sent her under the ropes! The Luchadoc whipped Leona into the barricade, then the steel stairs – CRASH!
Queen Bea
That’s no way to treat a lady – throw her harder!
He hauled her up… BRAINBUSTER ONTO THE RING APRON! He covered for a TWO-COUNT, then threw her onto the commentary booth. Night Owl & Queen Bea quickly vacated. Muerte climbed the desk and pulled his gutsy opponent up… HURRICANRANA INTO THE CROWD BY DEL SOL! Nobody caught Medico.
Night Owl
I think the doctor needs a doctor!
The Solar Sensation LEAPT FROM THE TABLE WITH A CROSSBODY ONTO THE CONCRETE! The quack struggled to his feet… A SPRINGBOARD CLOTHESLINE OFF THE HAND RAILING earned the lioness a TWO-COUNT! Del Sol forced Medico up the bleachers with elbow strikes, until eventually they fought through a door into the concourse!
Night Owl
It looks like they intend to test the boundaries of Falls Count Anywhere!
Approaching a merchandise kiosk, Leona ran up the wall and planted Muerte with a TORNADO DDT INTO A BOX OF REPLICA METTLE CHAMPIONSHIPS! The sawbones kicked out at TWO-AND-A-HALF, crawling to a neighbouring food court. Leona grabbed him but ate a LUNCH TRAY TO THE FACE!
Queen Bea
Eat up, cat lady!
Medico hopped onto a table and hit the CODE BLUE sunset bomb for TWO-AND-THREE-QUARTERS! He picked up a half-eaten cheeseburger and taunted, “Junk food is bad for kitties” – BUT DEL SOL KICKED IT IN HIS FACE! They exchanged blows and threw foodstuffs at each other, working their way over to a large fountain…
Queen Bea
Hope youse brought your water wings!
LEONA DUNKED MUERTE IN THE WATER WITH A WHEELBARROW BULLDOG! She vaulted off the marble sculpture with a LEONASAULT – NOBODY HOME! Spluttering water, Del Sol tossed her hair back… LETHAL INJECTION! The Luchadoc nailed the handspring cutter with a splash for the ONE, TWO, THREE!
Night Owl
The doctor injects himself into the semi-finals of the Mettle tournament!
*winner*
Medico Muerte
Rotten Tomato
*ft. El Hijo Del Phonk & Wes Hollywood*
Viewers were greeted by the troll face on the back of El Hijo Del Phonk’s mask. The viral luchador turned around with his phone held up, livestreaming himself. He told his legions of subscribers about a movie theatre visit earlier that day, to watch a festive family film. The Keyboard Warrior didn’t care for it, to put it mildly, trashing the script and actors involved.
The golden visage of Wes Hollywood entered the shot, interrupting Phonk’s broadcast. Taking exception to the influencer’s critique, the thespian told him that he ought to be more respectful. Very few people, he elaborated, appreciate the discipline, artistry & sacrifice that goes into acting.
Smirking, Phonk bit back at the anthropomorphic Oscar, asking which straight-to-DVD, bargain-basket movie he’d ever been in. An incensed Hollywood slapped the phone out of Phonk’s hand!
Just as the two put up their dukes, Deadbolt’s security came in and separated them.
Texas Bullrope
El Grande Malo
*vs.*
El Supervillaino
No sooner did the bell ring than Supervillaino YANKED on the bullrope, causing Malo to eat canvas. Rogue Incarnate reeled Malo in like a fish… AND DECAPITATED HIM WITH A LARIAT! Playing with his food, he scooped him up into a choke toss suplex, then drove him into the mat with a powerslam!
Night Owl
Hellacious power offence from Supervillaino early on!
He threw his head back, cackled maniacally, then slapped a turnbuckle – ONE! And another – TWO! THREE! FOUR! Malo pulled the rope but ‘Villaino won the ensuing tug of war – He marched towards FIVE… MALO BEAT HIM TO IT AND HIT A CROSSBODY! ‘VILLAINO CAUGHT HIM! MILITARY PRESS – MALO LANDED ON HIS FEET!
Night Owl
Malo has to rely on speed and agility whilst being tethered to ‘Villaino!
The Pride of Mexico peppered Supervillaino with martial-arts kicks, then rocked him with a SUPERKICK AND LEG LARIAT! The powerhouse went over the ropes – PULLING MALO WITH HIM! Thinking fast, Malo hopped up and flattened him with a SOMERSAULT PLANCHA! Malo unhooked himself from the rope and looked back at the Hexagon.
Queen Bea
That’s right, ya can’t win this thing on the floor. How’s he gonna shift ‘Villaino!?
Malo bunched up the rope and heaved the muscular ‘Villaino up the steel stairs. ONE! Malo slapped a turnbuckle. TWO! He dragged ‘Villaino along the apron. THREE! FOUR! SUPERVILLAINO STUCK HIS FOOT ON THE STEEL POST! Malo doubled back. El Maestro del Caos grabbed hold of him… MALO DOMED HIM WITH A REVERSE STO INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!
Queen Bea
He just knocked him into next Christmas!
A DAZED SUPERVILLAINO, THOUGH, REFLEXIVELY HIT A CORNER CLOTHESLINE! Both men tumbled back inside the Hexagon, tangled in the bullrope. They rose to their feet and started LASHING EACH OTHER! CRACK, SNAP, SLAP – WELTS APPEARED ON THEIR FLESH! ‘VILLAINO GRABBED THE COWBELL DANGLING FROM THE ROPE AND SWUNG IT AT MALO, WHO DUCKED!
Night Owl
He nearly got his bell rung!
Malo hit the ropes… SÚPER ÚLTIMO ATAQUE!? ROGUE INCARNATE BLOCKED THE BUSAIKU KNEE… REVERSE PILEDRIVER – THE SUPERVILLAINO DRIVER! Malo slumped to the mat. ‘Villaino grabbed the rope and cackled as he slapped the turnbuckles. ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FIVE! Malo grabbed his ankle! Supervillaino subdued him with a kick to the face, then turned to the final corner – SIX!
Queen Bea
First, the Mettle title; next, world domination for Supervillaino!
*winner*
El Supervillaino
Claws
*ft. La Leona Del Sol & King Homewrecker*
A battle-tested Leona sat alone on the bench in the trainer’s room after her match. Surely disappointed to be out the tournament, her head, nevertheless, was held high and she looked fiercer with her cuts and bruises.
King Homewrecker inserted himself in the scene, swaggering up to Del Sol like a peacock spreading its feathers. He leant on the wall beside Leona, tensing his muscles. Your Mom’s Favourite Wrestler gave an insincere apology for Leona’s loss to Muerte earlier in the night, and asked if she needed a rubdown after a shower?
Del Sol facepalmed so hard she may have concussed herself. Laughing in his face, she bet the pickup King that with such weak game, all he’d managed to wreck is a sock.
The sting of emasculation by a woman brought the incel in Homewrecker racing to the surface. He insulted Leona’s looks, insisted that he was never into her, and asked if he could have the number to a real wildcat – her mom.
Leona sprang to her feet and the two stood inches apart…
The standoff was diffused when Dr. Martins entered the room, having fetched gauze for Del Sol’s wounds.
Homewrecker pulled out of the confrontation, blowing the lioness a kiss as he left.
Tables match
El Masko
*vs.*
Wes Hollywood
Tables stood propped in the corners of the Hexagon, bridged between the apron and barricades, and erected at ringside. Wes offered his hand to Masko, who shook it – AND NEARLY GOT WHIPPED STRAIGHT INTO A TABLE! He stopped himself and chastised Hollywood for his underhandedness, who tanned his hide with lightning-fast boxing blows.
Queen Bea
I know who’s under that hood – it’s Sylvestah Stallone!
A roundhouse kick to the head put Masko onto the apron, and A SPRINGBOARD TRIANGLE DROPKICK SENT HIM FLYING TO THE FLOOR, NARROWLY MISSING A TABLE! Wes slapped the rope in frustration. He stayed on him and lifted him up for a reverse suplex – but Masko flipped and landed safely on his feet!
Night Owl
Masko showing great athleticism and situational awareness!
The movie star spun right into blistering chops. Masko sprung off the steel steps with a Thesz press! He dragged Hollywood to a bridged table… SUPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE – NO, WES FLIPPED IT! He lunged at Masko with a Muay Thai clinch, but Masko side-stepped it and rammed him into the announce table!
Queen Bea
Hey, ya dunce, our table doesn’t count!
Heeding Queen Bea’s words, the everyman pulled Wes off the desk and shoved him under the ropes, back into the Hexagon. Following him in, Masko drilled him with a POWERBOMB! He snatched a folded table from one of the corners, WAFFLED Hollywood with it, then set it up in the middle of the ring.
Night Owl
MASQ tables are sturdier than IKEA’s, that’s for sure!
Masko pulled Wes into a BACKSLIDE DRIVER, but the heavier A-lister SANDBAGGED him! Breaking free, Hollywood spun round – DRAGON SUPLEX! He kept hold of Masko… AND TOOK HIS HEAD OFF WITH A RIPCORD LARIAT! Wes adjusted the table and scooped Masko up. FIREMAN’S CARRY SIDEWALK SLAM – MASKO COUNTERED WITH AN ARM DRAG!
Queen Bea
Come on, I wanna see one of youse go through a table!
They rolled onto their feet. Kicking Hollywood low, Masko hauled him into the HONOR BOMB! WES ESCAPED THE TIGER BOMB BY STEPPING ONTO THE TOP ROPE! Perched, he and Masko locked eyes… CRUNCH! DIVING SPLASH THROUGH THE TABLE – BUT MASKO DOVE ASIDE! Hollywood lay in splintered wood as Masko celebrated.
Night Owl
The folk hero will fight again to uphold honour for the lawless Mettle title!
*winner*
El Masko
Elder Abuse
*ft. El Grande Malo & Coldblooded Mutanto*
A mob of fans swarmed around what looked like a gold and green fish wearing a tailored designer suit. Coldblooded Mutanto roared with laughter as folks stared in awe and clamoured to get his autograph and have selfies taken with him – not before paying Dr. Greg, of course, who stuffed the notes in his fanny pack and played crowd control.
Me next, me next called one voice, louder than the others. Gasps could be heard as the black, red, and white mask of El Grande Malo emerged from the throng. Mutanto glared at him as he approached.
The Pride of Mexico asked for an autograph. Greg held out his hand, demanding $50. Politely declining, Malo explained that Mutanto owed him $50, and they could take it out of that.
Bystanders scratched their heads and looked at each other, shrugging.
Malo elaborated that, during his years spent training in lucha libre in Mexico, the elders of one village told him a story – a true story.
Their settlement once did well for itself, situated on a trade route between neighbouring towns. Merchants would buy tickets to see the matches, and frequent the saloon and local businesses while they were there.
Dr. Greg tried to usher everyone away as Mutanto’s fishy eyes looked side-to-side, but Malo continued.
One fateful day, a gold & green devil stepped off a carriage and introduced himself. He sold the elders on lies of investing in the village. They emptied the coffers and gave him their life savings.
He disappeared that night and they never saw him again. A storm came through shortly after and devastated the village. Now it’s a ghost town.
Shocked and appalled, the people started booing and heckling Mutanto. The Million Dollar Monster threatened to sue Malo before storming off, with Greg running to keep up.
Malo took over signing duties for his newfound adoring fans.
An Apple a Day…
*ft. El Masko & Medico Muerte*
Earlier in the day, prospects watched their classmate training in the ring. He hit the ropes and took a back body drop from the coach. Landing hard, he nursed his back and groaned in pain. Before the instructor could ascertain the student’s condition, a luchador with a plague mask – Medico Muerte – slid under the ropes.
With a cursory glance at the victim, he clicked his tongue and deduced that he was badly hurt. Fetching his equipment, he didn’t administer care, but erected a market stall with a sandwich board advertising his wares.
The tutor protested but Medico talked over him. His elevator pitch had the novices reaching for their wallets – lest they, too, chance injury – when El Masko hopped the barrier to make the save.
Having watched the session from the bleachers, the everyman informed Medico’s would-be rubes that he’s a snake oil salesman.
Feining outrage, Muerte gathered his things and stormed off – but not before warning Masko, “it’ll take more than an apple to keep the Luchadoc away“…
Dumpster Match
El Hijo Del Phonk
*vs.*
Coldblooded Mutanto
The dumpster sat flush with the ring apron at the end of the ramp. Mutanto bellowed that he’s going to TAKE OUT THE TRASH and charged at Phonk, who PULLED DOWN THE TOP ROPE! MUTANTO WENT OVERBOARD HEADFIRST – STRAIGHT FOR THE REFUSE CONTAINER! DR. GREG CLOSED THE LID JUST IN TIME – BANG! The Creature Feature rolled off in a heap.
Night Owl
This thing almost ended as soon as it began!
Checkmate warned Greg that he’s out of here if he gets involved again. Phonk threw the lid open and stalked Mutanto as he recovered. The Keyboard Warrior made a beeline for him, looking to knock him in… ONLY TO BOUNCE OFF THE GIANT! Phonk landed with a splat.
Queen Bea
That musta been like runnin’ into a brick freakin’ wall!
Mutanto rolled Phonk inside the Hexagon and followed. He hoisted him up for a RELEASE POWERBOMB – but Phonk LEAPT ONTO HIS FEET! He hit the ropes… Coldblooded cut him off with a STIFF LARIAT! He lifted him to his feet by the throat and hit a BIG BOOT WHICH SENT PHONK SPIRALLING INTO THE DUMPSTER!
Night Owl
Now Mutanto just has to close the lid on him!
The Million Dollar Monster reached through the ropes… SMACK – PHONK RATTLED HIM WITH A KEYBOARD TO THE HEAD! He must’ve stashed it in the dumpster beforehand! Keys littered the floor as Mutanto staggered back. Phonk slid under the rope – RUNNING KNEE! And another, and another! A FOURTH ONE SENT MUTANTO CARTWHEELING INTO THE DUMPSTER!
Queen Bea
That fish don’t need to be thrown out yet, it’s still good!
The most-viewed Masqot dove for the lid and SLAMMED IT SHUT – CRACK – RIGHT ONTO MUTANTO’S WEBBED HANDS! Having saved himself, a screaming Mutanto stood up, headbutting the lid open. Phonk stood on the apron and stunned him with kicks to the chest and head! He climbed up top… FLYING DABBING ELBOW – DAB ON THE HATERS!
Night Owl
He just sacrificed himself in a bid to win! Can he capitalise!?
Nursing his ribs, Phonk went to climb out… THUD – DR. GREG BRAINED HIM WITH THE LID! Checkmate personally grabbed Greg by the collar and threw his ass outta here to a big pop! Mutanto and Phonk climbed out and faced each other… Mutanto roared and thundered towards him with a SPEEAAR – BUT PHONK STUCK OUT HIS LEG AND TRIPPED HIM INTO THE DUMPSTER, THEN CLOSED IT!
Queen Bea
Can I dislike and unsubscribe from this!? El Hijo Del Phonk goes to the semi-finals!
*winner*
El Hijo Del Phonk
Family
*ft. TRIV & El Supervillaino*
In the empty concourse of Arena 81 during the show, TRIV looked up at the big, empty photo frames on the walls pensively.
Black horns pierced the shot, followed by the black mask and white skull symbol of El Supervillaino.
TRIV didn’t acknowledge him. El Maestro del Caos broke the silence, reflecting on how maddening it was to know your maskline was revered, but being unable to remember why due to The Mistery…
TRIV nodded silently.
Rogue Incarnate chuckled and stepped forwards so that they stood shoulder-to-shoulder. He, too, looked up at the empty frames.
They say you can’t choose your family, ‘Villaino mused – I disagree. You know better, too, he added.
TRIV turned his head and looked at him for the first time.
Supervillaino opined that LOS REBELDES DEL BIEN were bad… But his family would be diabolical, and he wanted TRIV to be its first member.
TRIV contemplated. He said that he wanted to make his maskline proud and live up to his potential, but with his chequered past… He wasn’t sure what that looked like.
The horned rogue laughed and clapped him on the back.
Sleep on it, he advised, then left TRIV to consider his offer…
Triple Threat, Escape-Only Steel Cage
TRIV
*vs.*
King Homewrecker
*vs.*
Martillo Negro de la Muerte
Martillo stood in the centre of the ring. Even Checkmate hesitated in ordering him to a corner. The beast’s fists were clenched and his body quaked with every breath. TRIV and Homewrecker somehow caught each other’s eye around Muerte’s massive frame and shared a nod. The knight and rogue, respectively, struck up an uneasy alliance as they rushed Martillo!
Queen Bea
You’re gonna need an army to take this thing down!
HE FOLDED TRIV IN HALF WITH A URANAGE, THEN TURNED KING INSIDE-OUT WITH A TILT-A-WHIRL BACKBREAKER! Martillo pulled TRIV up… RATTLE – HE TOSSED HIM INTO THE CAGE! Muerte heaved up Homewrecker… CLANK – HE HURLED HIM HEADFIRST INTO THE MESH! The destroyer stood tall and raised his arms.
Night Owl
A dominating display by Martillo, but can the superheavyweight scale the cage!?
Answering that question, Muerte started climbing the structure, which bowed under his mass! TRIV shook off the cobwebs and ran to the cage. ‘Wrecker called him, and he turned round. He offered his hands, and Your Mom’s Favourite Wrestler VAULTED OFF THEM… SPRINGBOARD REVERSE DDT OFF THE CAGE WALL! The Hexagon and cage trembled as Martillo hit the canvas!
Queen Bea
Uncle Slam is gonna wanna put Rent-a-Ring on speed dial!
TRIV held out a hand. King took it, pulling himself up. TRIV motioned for them to pick up Muerte together, and bent down… PILEDRIVER BY ‘WRECKER! The crowd gave it to King with both barrels, who dished it right back. He started ascending the cage – but Martillo rose to his feet!
Night Owl
I don’t like Homewrecker’s short-term health prospects!
Muerte advanced on ‘Wrecker, who bailed on his escape plan – CROSSBODY OFF THE CAGE… MARTILLO CAUGHT HIM WITH A SPINNING SPINEBUSTER! King sat bolt upright, flexing his fingers, before slowly sinking down! The harbinger eyed the cage – but TRIV soldiered to his feet! He ran at Muerte… PUMPHANDLE NECKBREAKER – TRIV COUNTERED WITH A HEADSCISSORS! CLATTER!
Night Owl
Martillo goes facefirst into the steel!
TRIV DOUBLE-TAPPED HIM WITH A DROPKICK – RATTLE! Martillo turned round groggily. Chop, chop, chop – TRIV swung at him like a lumberjack with a hatchet! The tenacious journeyman tore into the ropes and rebounded with a clothesline! A second, a third clothesline – still the bad omen wouldn’t go down!
Queen Bea
I don’t like him, but he’s sure showin’ mettle!
Muerte threw a LARIAT at TRIV, who ducked it and went behind with a waistlock. He didn’t stand a chance of lifting the superheavyweight – not without help… CORNER MISSILE DROPKICK BY HOMEWRECKER! The momentum sent Martillo backwards into a GERMAN SUPLEX BY TRIV! King immediately followed with a CORNER SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT – DOUBLE-TEAM BACKDOOR MAN!
Night Owl
Homewrecker is back in the picture, and he just turned the tide!
TRIV raced to his feet to meet ‘Wrecker. The rogue shrugged as if to say yeah, I know, then extended a hand. TRIV shook it – the band was back! TRIV PULLED HIM INTO A PICTURE-PERFECT ARM DRAG! King reared back… ANOTHER ARM DRAG, THEN A THIRD! TRIV held out his arms, asking do you think I’m that stupid!?
Queen Bea
TRIV just killed any chance either of ‘em had at winnin’ this thing!
He stepped back – bumping right into Martillo. He hung his head and sighed, crap… HE SPUN ROUND WITH A RIGHT HAND – MUERTE BLOCKED IT! He pulled him into a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Homewrecker came at him… OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX – KING LANDED ON TOP OF TRIV! Martillo pulled at his mane and screamed in bloodlust!
Night Owl
I think the berserker is about to kill them both, period!
Muerte dragged Homewrecker to his feet. He lifted him in a torture rack, then spun him out with a TOWER HACKER BOMB – DESTRUCTOR DEL TITÁN! Martillo grabbed TRIV next… PACKAGE PILEDRIVER – CAZADOR DE ALMAS! He nailed a back-to-back signature and finisher on both opponents! The kaiju shook the ropes and stomped the mat, then headed for the cage.
Queen Bea
If he goes to night two, you might as well retire the Mettle belt now – cos he’ll win it and nevah, evah lose it!
Muerte climbed the enclosure once more. His boot slipped and its fur got snagged as one of the chain links broke, but he steadied himself. Reaching the top, he pulled himself up and swung his leg over to straddle the cage – HOMEWRECKER WALL-RAN UP IT… FRANKEN-FREAKIN’-STEINERRRR OFF THE TOP OF THE CAAAGE!
Night Owl
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?
Queen Bea
HOLY [bleep]!
The fans came unglued for the breathtaking manoeuvre! TRIV stared at the carnage on the mat in front of him – even he had to give King props for that. Snapping out of it, he went to climb the cage… But stopped. He looked over his shoulder, sighed, and went back.
Night Owl
TRIV is helping Homewrecker to his feet!
He slapped ‘Wrecker on the chest, nodded at one side of the cage, then the other. His body language said, you earned it, and he can’t stop both of us. King nodded, and limped over to his side. TRIV followed suit on the opposite side. Martillo resurrected himself like an unstoppable slasher villain.
Queen Bea
It’s like watchin’ one of them nature shows! Which one is he gonna eat!?
The weapon of mass destruction honed in on TRIV – the faster climber. He lurched over to him… MUERTE SNATCHED HIS ANKLE! TRIV turned – kick, kick, kick… MARTILLO PULLED HIM INTO HIS CLUTCHES! HE CARRIED HIM ACROSS THE RING… OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! HE LOBBED TRIV INTO HOMEWRECKER LIKE A CANNONBALL!
Night Owl
This is human devastation!
Both men grated down the fencing and landed in a tangled mess between the cage and ropes. Battered and bruised, they slowly pulled themselves up and raised their heads together. Muerte sized them up and RAN FULL TILT TOWARDS THEM… WHAT WAS HE THINKING!? CRASH!
Night Owl
THE CAGE WALL HAS COLLAPSED! I REPEAT, THE CAGE IS BROKEN!
Queen Bea
WE JUST CAME BACK AND NOW OSHA ARE GONNA SHUT US DOWN!
Crimson Mask, Ringside EMT, immediately motioned to the back to send more help as he tended to the competitors, all of whom lay on the floor, having rolled or slid down the fallen cage panel. Checkmate climbed down to assist; Dr. Martins, Deadbolt, and a legion of his security flooded the ringside; Uncle Slam came out, the furrowed brow of his mask betraying his concern.
The Matchmaker whispered into Checkmate’s ear. The Head Referee replied and, when pressed, nodded with conviction. Slam patted him on the back and jogged over to Statocaster, the Ring Announcer. Similarly, he whispered into his ear. ‘Caster nodded, raised his mic and made the announcement to Arena 81 at large…
Statocaster
Ladies and gentlemen, Head Referee, Checkmate, has confirmed that he saw which competitor first made contact with the floor, therefore having escaped the cage and won the match!
Night Owl
Here we go – who advances!?
Queen Bea
Are they even gonna be able to show up next week!?
Statocaster
The winner of the match, advancing to New Game+ in the Mettle Championship tournament is…
Martillo Negro de la Muerte!
*winner*
Martillo Negro de la Muerte
Rampage
*ft. Martillo Negro de la Muerte & his victims*
The wrecking ball, however, didn’t raise his hands or celebrate in any other way… URANAGE TO CRIMSON MASK! MARTILLO LAID OUT THE FREAKIN’ EMT! The crowd gasped in shock. MUERTE TOSSED A CAMERAMAN OVER THE DAMN BARRICADE! WHAT WAS HE DOING!? The ringside erupted into carnage. Deadbolt ordered his security personnel to subdue the hulking warlord…
BIG BOOT, CLOTHESLINE, HEADBUTT! OVERHEAD BELLY-TO-BELLY, SPINEBUSTER, POWERSLAM! DEADBOLT’S SECURITY FLEW THROUGH THE AIR ONE-BY-ONE! The last of their ranks stepped up to the human bulldozer… DESTRUCTOR DEL TITÁN – TOWER HACKER BOMB THROUGH THE COMMENTARY DESK! MUERTE HAMMERED HIS CHEST AND ROARED! WHO WAS NEXT!?
DEADBOLT, A SUPERHEAVYWEIGHT HIMSELF, TOOK OFF HIS JACKET AND STEPPED TOWARDS MUERTE! Uncle Slam held his arm out, telling him to stand down. The audience boo’d, chanting LET THEM FIGHT, LET THEM FIGHT! Knowing they were watching from gorilla, an exasperated Slam commanded every Masqot in the back to get out here and deal with this now – or be fired!
Reinforcements came running out, but the rampaging Martillo had already parted the crowd like the Red Sea and was heading for the exits, no doubt looking to level Masqopolis itself!
Night Owl
… Am I on!? Can you hear me now!? I don’t know what to say, folks… It is anarchy at ringside! Bodies are strewn everywhere!
Queen Bea
Doesn’t this place run background checks!? Martillo is a [bleep] lunatic!
Night Owl
What is Uncle Slam going to do about this!? Is Martillo still in the tournament!?
We’re out of time, folks! If we’re even on the air after this, tune in for New Game+ next week!
Queen Bea
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animals!
Fade to black & roll credits.