
2 Un 2 Masked

Tombola
ft. Uncle Slam
Everybody’s favourite patriot, Uncle Slam, started the show with an address from within his office.
He stood up from his executive leather chair and walked round his hardwood desk to reveal a golden tombola.
The Matchmaker explained that, throughout the night, Masqots would be summoned to pick a golden ball. It would contain their entry number for the Super Smash match at Super Smash Masks Turbo 4K Remix on Jan. 30th!
Slam wished the Masqots luck and threw back to Night Owl & Queen Bea at ringside.


Weights & Measures
ft. El Grande Malo & Coldblooded Mutanto
Uncle Slam sat behind his desk with his nose crinkled, as though a bad smell lingered in the room.
Coldblooded Mutanto towered over the tombola, his fishy eyes bulging at the golden drum.
A sheepish Dr. Greg stood behind him, wearing a big coat, fidgeting…
The Million Dollar Monster stepped up to the Matchmaker’s desk. He asked slowly (very slowly…) if eeevery ball had been checked by the local weights & measures authority, to ensure a legitimate draw.
Slam asked why Mutanto was talking so strangely, then offered to call Dr. Martins to check him for concussion.
Mutanto insisted he was fine and slowly repeated his question concerning the calibration of the tombola.
Slam sighed and said he wasn’t sure… But he’d definitely look into it. He stood up and walked over to the tombola, rolled it, then invited Mutanto to pick a ball in the meantime.
The Creature Feature snatched a ball in his webbed hand and cracked it open. With a deep belly laugh, he boasted that he’d secured the final entry!
Just as Slam went to congratulate him, El Grandé Malo stepped into the room.
Greg pulled at his collar.
Malo quipped that Mutanto’s entry definitely wasn’t the only number that he lied about, then stepped forwards to pick his own ball from the tombola.
Before Mutanto or Greg could stop him, The Pride of Mexico broke the seal to reveal his entry… He, too, announced that he’d gotten the last spot!
Wait…
Frowning, Uncle Slam immediately rifled through the tombola, opening balls at random.
Last, last, last, he muttered to himself furiously.
He glared at Mutanto, who looked a little green around the gills.
Malo informed the Matchmaker that, whilst Mutanto had distracted him with talk of weights & measures, Greg was “putting his balls inside the tombola!“
Phrasing, Malo…
Right on cue, enough balls to fill a children’s ballpit cascaded from Greg’s coat onto the floor.
Slam knelt down to pick one of the balls up. He handed it to Malo with a “thank you“, and the Mexico… Maine resident left the room – closing the door on the scene behind him.




Tag Team
El Masko & TRIV
vs.
El Padrino & Martillo Negro de la Muerte
Masko took the early lead with right hands, a Thesz press, and a suplex to Padrino, but The Don seized control with a SCOOP POWERSLAM! He chipped away at the people’s luchador with stomps and chops, then planted him with a SPINEBUSTER for a TWO-COUNT! Padrino slapped a sleeper hold on Masko.
Night Owl
The Don is dictating the pace of this contest, cutting Masko off from TRIV!
The fans rallied behind Masko, who powered to his feet – only to eat a shoulder tackle! Padrino tentatively tagged in Martillo, and the berserker went to war! He rattled Masko with a PUMPHANDLE NECKBREAKER, then tossed him OVER THE ROPES with a BELLY-TO-BELLY SUPLEX! Muerte then PULLED TRIV INTO THE HEXAGON!
Queen Bea
It’s lucha rules – with Masko on the floor, TRIV is the legal man!
Martillo hoisted the bejewelled luchador up for a URANAGE, but TRIV REVERSED IT INTO AN ARM DRAG! Muerte charged at him, only for TRIV to fell him with a dropkick to the knee! He rolled the warlord up with a MAGISTRAL CRADLE for a TWO-COUNT! TRIV tagged in a wounded Masko, who had returned to the apron.
Night Owl
Can El Masko keep the momentum on their side!?
The honourable luchador climbed the turnbuckle and brought down a DOUBLE AXE HANDLE on Martillo! He tried to apply a BOSTON CRAB, but he couldn’t grab hold of Muerte’s tree trunk-like legs. The destroyer kicked him off, then demolished him with a CHOKESLAM! Martillo stared at his teammate and exited to the apron.
Queen Bea
I think that’s as close to a tag as you’re gonna get from him!
El Padrino took it to Masko with a SENTON! He sat up, then pointed and laughed at TRIV – MASKO ROLLED HIM UP WITH A CRUCIFIX PIN! MUERTE BROKE IT UP! Masko scrambled to his feet – RUNNING CLOTHESLINE BY PADRINO! Catching his breath, The Don looked up at Martillo, who shook his head.
Night Owl
Looks like there’s friction there!
MASKO TAGGED TRIV! Padrino ate a DROPKICK, then an ATOMIC DROP! TRIV shot him into the ropes… HE HELD ON! TRIV advanced – MARTILLO GRABBED HIM FROM THE APRON! MASKO, HOWEVER, SWEPT MUERTE’S LEGS AND JACKED HIS JAW ON THE APRON! A freed TRIV turned round – PADRINO WHACKED HIM WITH HIS CROWBAR, DEALMAKER! He discarded the evidence and PINNED HIM FOR THE THREE!
Queen Bea
Too bad that fancy rock on TRIV’s mask doesn’t give him a Spidey sense!
winners
El Padrino & Martillo Negro De La Muerte


Loneliest Number
ft. Uncle Slam & Martillo Negro de la Muerte
Earlier…
A golden ball was reflected in Uncle Slam’s eyes as he slowly turned it over in his hands, deep in thought.
Bang, bang!
He sighed and called for the person knocking (well, pounding) his door to come in.
The office was cast into shadow as the kaiju, Martillo Negro de la Muerte, ducked under the doorframe to squeeze himself inside – warhammer in hand, as always.
He and Slam stared at each other.
The Matchmaker broke the silence, informing Martillo that he’d spoken to The Board…
Muerte didn’t say a word.
Slam blinked and flared his nostrils. He told Martillo that The Board had agreed to make him the 1st Super Smash entrant!
The berserker remained silent.
Frustrated, Slam raised his hand from behind the desk, clutching a golden ball.
…
He threw it at Martillo!
The destroyer caught it. He burned a hole through Slam, who wilted in his seat. Martillo walked up to the desk…
SMASH!
Slam winced as Muerte slammed the ball against the polished tabletop, shattering it. He took the slip of paper sat among the shards and unrolled it.
It merely read ‘First’.
Having gotten what he wanted, Martillo smirked and marched out of the room, leaving Slam to tidy the broken glass littering his desk.


Ball Buster
ft. La Leona Del Sol & King Homewrecker
King Homewrecker stood in Uncle Slam’s office. He clutched a golden ball in his hand, and was partway through pantomiming & explaining in gratuitous detail his latest romantic conquest from the night before.
Uncle Slam looked revolted.
Knock, knock!
Grateful for the interruption, the Matchmaker beckoned the caller in.
La Leona Del Sol stepped into the room.
Homewrecker inhaled sharply, freezing midway through a particularly degrading recreation.
Slam stood up behind his desk and greeted the Lionhearted Luchadora. He walked up to the tombola, rolled it, and invited her to pick a ball.
Not taking her cat-like eyes off of King, Leona did so.
Holding her ball up so that Homewrecker could see, Del Sol looked at his, then mused that hers was bigger.
Your Mom’s Favourite Wrestler immediately snatched Leona’s ball and stuffed it alongside his own down his tights!
He pointed and laughed in her face, daring her to come get it.
Leona didn’t bite. She didn’t yell, curse, or give King the satisfaction of a reaction. She merely looked to Uncle Slam, who nodded.
LOW BLOW!
The Solar Sensation dropped Homewrecker with a swift kick between the legs.
He crumpled to the floor, whimpering and clutching his jewels.
Leona told Slam to let her know what number she drew.
The Matchmaker gave her his word, and Del Sol left the room.
Slam wondered aloud if he could get Dr. Greg to retrieve the balls from inside King’s tights…


Box
ft. TRIV & El Supervillaino
Earlier…
An evil red mist hung in the air of an evil dressing room with evil… Furniture?
Evil.
El Supervillaino strode through the mist, which clung to his black horns like ethereal cobwebs.
He marched up to a table blacker than the inside of a coffin, and placed upon it his golden ball – presumably drawn earlier.
The Rogue Incarnate laughed a diabolical laugh.
Thunder clap
TRIV then emerged from the blood-red fog and placed his ball next to Villaino’s.
El Maestro Del Caos twiddled his fingertips devilishly. He said that when he and TRIV put their balls together, there’d be no stopping them! They’d both win the Super Smash match, be crowned joint-Grand Champions, and rule MASQ with an iron fist!
TRIV pointed to a dark recess and asked what’s that?
Villaino followed his gaze and fell silent. He took a deep breath and invited TRIV to follow him…
Occupying its own shadowy corner, a mysterious black box sat atop a plinth. Chains wrapped around the enigmatic container, with a skull-shaped padlock keeping its contents secured.
TRIV reached out to touch it, but Rogue Number One gently lowered his hand and shook his head, like a parent teaching their child the hot lesson.
The bejewelled luchador asked again what was in the box?
A pregnant pause followed, before Supervillaino simply responded, “pure chaos“.
TRIV continued to stare at the secretive vessel, transfixed…
Villaino cackled and clapped TRIV on the back, breaking his trance. The patriarch said that, one day, La Familia Del Abismo would be tightknit enough that he’d be able to open the Box of Doom and show TRIV the world.




Fatal 4-Way
El Hijo Del Phonk
vs.
Pirata Aterrador
vs.
Coldblooded Mutanto
vs.
King Homewrecker
Phonk marched into the middle and flexed, then motioned for the other 3 participants to bring it – so they did! A BIG BOOT by Mutanto spun him round into a SPRINGBOARD ELBOW from Homewrecker which floored him, then Pirata hit a SENTON BOMB! The Keyboard Warrior rolled under the ropes whilst his foes went at it.
Night Owl
I think El Hijo Del Phonk just got delisted from this match!
Coldblooded dominated with a LARIAT which turned King inside-out, then a ROARING ELBOW to Aterrador! Homewrecker recovered and grabbed his shoulder, but the Million Dollar Monster scooped him up into a RELEASE POWERBOMB ON TOP OF PIRATA! He covered his stacked opponents for a TWO-AND-A-HALF! Dr. Greg slapped the apron.
Queen Bea
If ya wanna beat this guy, you’re gonna need a scuba tank and a rifle!
The Keyboard Warrior re-entered the Hexagon. He rolled, popped up, then SLAPPED Mutanto in the face! Creature Feature roared and charged – but Phonk stuck out his leg! The amphibian tripped throat-first onto the middle rope. Aterrador boarded him with a leapfrog body guillotine through the ropes! Mutanto stumbled backwards – into a reverse DDT by King!
Night Owl
They just got their white whale!
Your Mom’s Favourite Wrestler lifted Pirata onto the top rope, then sent him flying with a FRANKENSTEINER! Phonk went for a high knee on Homewrecker, but King blocked it, then spiked him with a PILEDRIVER! He turned him over and applied the CAMEL CLUTCH – PLEASURE AND PAIN! Before Phonk could tap, however… SPEAR BY MUTANTO!
Queen Bea
Speeeah, harpoon, what’s the difference!?
Pirata cut off the Creature from the Black Lagoon’s cousin with a roll-up for a TWO-COUNT! Mutanto retaliated with a LARIAT, but Aterrador grabbed his arm and climbed the ropes – ROPEWALK ARM DRAG! The swashbuckler fuelled himself with a swig from his flask. Phonk grabbed his shoulder – PIRATA SPAT RUM IN HIS FACE!
Night Owl
Can he even do that post-COVID!?
Blackbeard’s most feared rival grabbed Phonk in a front facelock and pointed at the turnbuckle – WALK THE PLANK! The influencer BLOCKED THE SHIRANUI and hit a DRAGON SUPLEX! He scaled the corner and leapt off – DAB ON THE HATERS! The top-rope elbow on Pirata got him the THREE!
Queen Bea
Dammit, someone needs to get a hashtag trending about this guy! How about #PhonkOff!?
winner
El Hijo Del Phonk


Hamlet
ft. El Hijo Del Phonk & Wes Hollywood
Earlier…
Uncle Slam sat in his office with his head in his hands. It quickly became apparent why, as El Hijo Del Phonk stood across from him, bemoaning the national ban on his favourite social media app.
Having sourced a replacement, however, the influencer held his phone up and started livestreaming. He asked the Matchmaker to roll the tombola, which he dutifully did whilst not performing for the camera at all.
Phonk reached in and retrieved a golden ball. Plugging a sponsor before reminding his viewers to comment, like & subscribe, he went to twist it open – but a golden, gloved hand plucked it from his palm!
The Keyboard Warrior spun round angrily, coming face to face (well, mask to mask) with Wes Hollywood!
The influencer apologised for humiliating Hollywood with his fake movie production prank, but chastised him for interrupting his Super Smash entry draw.
Ignoring Phonk, the red-carpet actor held the ball aloft betwixt his fingertips.
“To be, or not to be? That is the question“, he recited…
HE CLUBBED PHONK IN THE HEAD WITH THE BALL!
Slam yelled at him to stop, but a possessed Wes went to tinseltown on the streamer, raining down blow after blow with the golden ball!
At the sound of the commotion, Deadbolt’s security rushed into the room to pull Hollywood off of Phonk.
They dragged him outside, but not before he was able to grab a ball of his own from the open tombola.
Uncle Slam knelt beside a moaning El Hijo Del Phonk. He picked up his bloodied golden ball and shook his head.


Shot
ft. El Masko & Medico Muerte
El Masko sat on top of a roadie case in the backstage corridors of Arena 81. He clutched a golden ball in his hands, having drawn it from the tombola.
He gripped the sphere to pry it apart –
The black beak of Medico Muerte pierced the frame, followed shortly by the rest of him.
He pointed at Masko accusingly and said that thanks to his little stunt getting his equipment seized, most of his ingredients will have spoiled.
Masko replied that he never meant for Medico’s things to be taken into storage. He said that he assumed the regulatory agents would have tipped it down the drains instead – where it belonged!
An incensed Luchadoc stepped towards El Masko, who hopped down from the crates, ready for a fight.
Medico charged Masko with not truly caring about the public. The real reason he got his product confiscated was because Muerte beat him for the Mettle Championship at New Game+.
El Masko responded coolly that it’s not hard to beat an incapacitated opponent, and Medico should try again now that he didn’t have his chloroform!
The Mettle Champion chuckled. He acknowledged no longer being in possession of certain aides… But he still had one.
A HAND COVERED MASKO’S MOUTH FROM BEHIND!
ANOTHER HAND HELD A SYRINGE TO HIS NECK AND PUSHED THE PLUNGER!
Masko’s eyes closed and he slumped backwards into the arms of a masked nurse!
Medico helped her to stow the unconscious luchador behind the roadie crates.
Muerte said that while the doctor may temporarily be unavailable, Nurse Nightengale was still able to see patients.
Nightengale pushed the plunger again threateningly, squirting a sedative into the air.
Cracking open Masko’s ball and whistling at the ticket inside, he mused that he must’ve been given the wrong prescription and swapped it with his own.
Medico and his Nurse cackled as they walked away down the corridor…



Mettle championship
10,000 Tacks
El Supervillaino
vs.
Medico Muerte
Tied black velvet bags were placed throughout the ringside, each containing countless razor-sharp tacks! Medico took it to Supervillaino, but the powerhouse was ready. He intersected him with a LARIAT, then lifted him into a MILITARY PRESS DROP! He picked up a bag and tipped it upside-down – scatter!
Night Owl
Supervillaino is looking to turn Medico into a human pin-cushion!
Villaino scooped Muerte onto his shoulder for a POWERSLAM… MEDICO DROPPED DOWN UNSCATHED! The Luchadoc snatched him into a back suplex away from the tacks, then went to the apron and hit a HILO! Medico pulled the challenger up and went for the THREE AMIGOS suplexes… VILLAINO COUNTERED WITH A FRONT SUPLEX INTO THE TACKS!
Queen Bea
Time to pay your tacks-es, Medico! Bwahaha!
The Mettle Champion writhed in agony, tacks littering his chest and abs. Villaino yanked him up into a STALLING SUPLEX – TEN, TWENTY, THIRTY, FORTY… HE DROPPED HIM IN THE TACKS AT FORTY-FIVE SECONDS! Muerte’s abdomen was covered in tacks! The Rogue Incarnate cackled and covered him for TWO-AND-A-HALF!
Night Owl
Medico Muerte has defended his title once. Can he do it a second time tonight!?
El Maestro del Caos emptied another bag onto the canvas – scatter! He picked Medico up for a POWERBOMB… MUERTE REVERSED INTO A CODE BLUE SUNSET BOMB INTO THE TACKS! A muffled scream escaped the white skull on Villaino’s black mask, his broad back punctured dozens, perhaps hundreds of times! Medico covered for a NEAR-FALL!
Queen Bea
These fellas look like they’ve been to an S&M meetin!
Medico emptied a 3rd bag – scatter! He waited for Rogue Number One to get to his knees… LETHAL INJECTION! VILLAINO CAUGHT HIM… PURE DOOM – ALPAMERE WATERSLIDE INTO THE TACKS! Muerte’s back looked like a constellation, whilst Villaino’s knees and forearms copped it, too. The evil genius called for the end and picked Medico up –
Night Owl
MEDICO JUST PIE-FACED VILLAINO WITH A FISTFUL OF TACKS!
Villaino recoiled, the eyes and mouth of his mask pierced by tacks! Muerte emptied two more bags into the centre of the Hexagon – scatter, scatter! The Mettle Champion pantomimed pushing the plunger on an injection… LETHAL INJECTION – THE HANDSPRING CUTTER MADE VILLAINO EAT TACKS! MEDICO COVERED HIM FOR THE THREE!
Queen Bea
When these guys have finished pickin tacks outta themselves, it’ll be time for the Super Smash match!
winner & still Mettle Champion
Medico Muerte


Arrrt of the steal
ft. Pirata Aterrador & El Padrino
Earlier…
A blue haze hung in Uncle Slam’s office. The Matchmaker coughed and waved a particularly noxious cloud aside. Its source was revealed to be a lit cigar held by El Padrino, who took puffs in between telling his boss of his many business connections.
Uncle Slam slyly checked his watch, then clapped his hands and loudly cut across The Don, inviting him over to the tombola.
The connected businessman obliged.
Slam rolled the drum, and Padrino meticulously selected a ball inside. Just as he gripped it to pull it apart, however…
Squawk, squawk!
Pirata Aterrador hobbled into the room. His plush parrot and valet, Lora, swayed perilously on the epaulette of his jacket.
The Swashbuckler gave a hearrrty greeting to both men. He pointed at the cylindrical cage and asked if it was the tombola containing their entries. Padrino replied sarcastically that “no, it’s a microwave oven.“
Aterrador squinted at the legitimate businessman through his one good eye, then noticed his golden ball. He excitedly asked Slam if the balls were real gold and pointed to a tooth in his mouth as reference.
The Matchmaker responded that he doubted it.
Undeterred, Pirata stuck his hand in the microwave, I mean tombola, and plundered a ball of his own.
He held it up and looked from it to Padrino’s unopened ball.
“I’ll show ya moin if you show me yerrs“, he growled.
Padrino frowned and opened his mouth to retort, before glimpsing the cutlass in its scabbard dangling from Aterrador’s belt.
He bit his tongue and opened his ball – as did Pirata.
They showed each other the contents. Padrino smiled that used-car salesman smile of his. Pirata’s face dropped.
Just as Slam leant in to check, the Bulky Buccaneer yelled to LOOK OVER THERE!
The Matchmaker and Padrino both turned in alarm, but saw nothing. Turning back, the pinstriped luchador asked if Pirata had been at the rum again.
“Sorry, mateys“, the master of the seven seas apologised, “sometoims me eye plays tricks on me…“.
Pirata turned and briskly headed for the exit, cupping his hands around his ball and stifling a laugh.
He closed the door just in time to muffle Padrino’s outburst of yelling.

Streaming January 30th
EXCLUSIVELY ON



Main event
El GRANDÉ Malo
vs.
Wes Hollywood
The bout more closely resembled a kickboxing match in the opening minutes, as both men put up their dukes and circled each other. Hollywood’s taller frame leant him a reach advantage, which he used to cut through Malo’s guard whilst also holding him at bay. He landed some particularly vicious overhead shots before Grandé changed it up.
Night Owl
When two strikers go at it, it’s often a question of whose reach is greater!
Putting his educated feet to good use, Malo blasted Wes with kicks to the hamstring, lowering his guard. He snuck in some body shots to take the wind out of his sails, then reverted to low and medium kicks to keep Hollywood guessing. A game of cat and mouse ensued, with kicks versus punches.
Queen Bea
One of em is gonna land a knockout blow!
Both competitors threw roundhouse kicks. They clashed shinbones and hopped backwards in pain! Grandé leapt into a LEG LARIAT, but Wes side-stepped it, then pulled him into a DRAGON SUPLEX which got a TWO-COUNT! Hollywood gripped the top rope for leverage and stomped a mudhole in Malo until the referee counted to FOUR!
Night Owl
Hollywood is risking a disqualification here…
Yanking Grandé to his feet, Wes trapped him in a Muay-Thai clinch and worked him over with knees, elbows, and punches. The A-lister turned Malo round, clubbed him with a forearm, then lifted him up into an INVERSE SUPLEX which netted him another TWO-COUNT! Hollywood climbed the turnbuckle as Grandé recovered…
Queen Bea
When’s the last time you saw an airborne Oscah!?
MISSILE DROPKICK – MALO DODGED IT! Wes hit the canvas hard. He crawled to his knees. Grandé pelted him with kicks to the chest, then reared back for a knockout shot… HOLLYWOOD DUCKED IT AND ROLLED HIM UP! Malo kicked out at TWO-AND-A-HALF, rolled backwards onto his feet, then nailed a BASEBALL SLIDE TO WES’ TEMPLE!
Night Owl
Great recovery by Malo!
Kipping up, Grandé pulled Hollywood to his feet and slingshotted him into the corner. Backing up into the opposite corner, he stomped his feet and slapped the top turnbuckle to hype the crowd, then charged – HANGTIME DROPKICK! Wes stumbled forwards… BRAINBUSTER TO THE KNEE BY MALO! He covered him for TWO-AND-A-HALF!
Queen Bea
He definitely busted his brain. It woulda been smartah to stay down after that!
The Pride of Mexico hauled his opponent up and hooked his arms – knees, knees, knees to the body! He went for the DDT, but HOLLYWOOD BROKE HIS GRIP, LIFTED HIM UP, AND HIT AN AIR RAID CRASH NECKBREAKER! He scaled the turnbuckle… DIVING SPLASH FROM THE TOP ROPE! Wes slouched across Malo for a NEAR-FALL!
Night Owl
A high-risk manoeuvre by Hollywood, and it almost paid off!
Grabbing Grandé’s legs, Hollywood rolled him over to lock in the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF! Malo screamed and ran his hands over his mask. Pain coursed through his body, but he rode the wave and refused to tap out! He crawled towards the ropes with his hand outstretched… WES DAGGED HIM BACK TO THE CENTRE OF THE HEXAGON!
Queen Bea
Hahaha – denied!
Abandoning his attempt at a rope break, Grandé slowly rolled over. Doing so increased the torque on his lower extremities, but he had no choice… HE KICKED HOLLYWOOD OFF! Wes recovered quicker than Malo. He heaved him up into an STO – BUT GRANDÉ REVERSED WITH AN EXPLODER SUPLEX INTO THE TURNBUCKLE!
Night Owl
Good grief, he just folded Hollywood in half!
Hollywood rose slowly. He and Malo locked eyes. The Pride of Mexico stuck out his chin and pointed to it, daring Wes to try and knock him out! Hollywood lurched forwards and swung with a wild HAYMAKER, but Grandé ducked it and lifted him up in a waistlock… WHEELBARROW DOUBLE KNEE LUNG BLOWER!
Queen Bea
I saw somethin similah in a chiropractor video!
Malo covered for the THREE… BUT WES GOT HIS FOOT ON THE ROPES! Checkmate had to explain it to Grandé, who’d celebrated prematurely. The Mexico… Maine resident ran his hands over his mask. Hollywood had rolled onto the floor. Malo tore into the ropes… SUICIDE TORNADO DDT – HIS LEG BUCKLED ON THE DIVE!
Night Owl
Holy… I think Malo could be hurt!
The fans gasped as Grandé fell short of the mark, almost spiking himself on the mats! The Texas cloverleaf had definitely done damage. Ringside EMT, Crimson Mask, immediately checked on him as referee, Checkmate, leant through the ropes. Malo nodded defiantly and used the barricade to stand unaided. Crimson reluctantly nodded to Checkmate – GRANDÉ WAS CONTINUING THE FIGHT!
Queen Bea
Nobody evah heard of a one-legged man winnin an ass-kickin contest before…
ROUNDHOUSE KICK BY WES! The crowd gave it to Hollywood with both barrels for the unsportsmanlike cheap shot! The red-carpet actor jerked Malo up and shoved him under the ropes. He slid in after him, then STOMPED ON HIS LEG! Grandé turned and screamed in pain, unable to defend himself.
Night Owl
Hollywood swooping down on his injured opponent like a golden vulture!
Wes forced him to his feet – DRAGON SUPLEX! He held on and pulled him back up… RIPCORD LARIAT – THE CALLBACK! Hollywood said goodnight and HOOKED THE LEG to make sure… TWO-POINT-NINE! MALO SOMEHOW KICKED OUT! Wes slapped the mat and got in Checkmate’s face, who stood firm and pointed at his black and white stripes.
Queen Bea
Yeah, don’t argue with him, Wes – he’ll hypnotise ya!
Hollywood kicked the ropes and called for the end. He pulled Grandé up and heaved him up into a fireman’s carry… HOLLYWOOD ENDING – MALO COUNTERED THE SIDE SLAM WITH A VICTORY ROLL! He got a NEAR-FALL on the surprise pinfall attempt! Wes scrambled to his feet and pulled Grandé to his – SUPERKICK OUTTA NOWHERE!
Night Owl
There it is – the equaliser! Can Malo capitalise!?
Hollywood lay sprawled on the canvas, seeing stars. Malo clutched his leg and bit the ring rope to stifle his yelps. The desperation move cost him dearly, but would it pay off!? He crawled into the cover… TWO-POINT-NINE! The crowd groaned as Wes BARELY got his shoulder up. Grandé shook his head in disbelief.
Queen Bea
It’s anyone’s for the takin now!
Hollywood came to. He and Malo mashed their foreheads together as they rose, propping themselves up against each other. Malo hit the ropes and came back with the SÚPER ÚLTIMO ATAQUE, but his LEG GAVE OUT AGAIN! Missing the busaiku knee, he found himself on Wes’s shoulders for the FIREMAN’S CARRY SIDE SLAM – HOLLYWOOD ENDING FOR THE THREE!
Night Owl
Admirable effort by Malo, but Hollywood’s ruthlessness got him the win!
winner
Wes Hollywood
Night Owl
What a night it’s been, ladies & gentlemen. The Masqots have drawn their numbers ready for the Super Smash match!
Queen Bea
And we’re finally gonna crown the eggnog – inaug… The first-evah Grand Champion!
Night Owl
Join us January 30th for Super Smash Masks Turbo 4K Remix!
Fade to black & roll credits.
