Thwop-thwop-thwop-thwop
Wes, in his golden idol attire, hangs half-way out a helicopter cabin. At the end of his grip is a Damsel in distress dangerously dangling at 5,000 feet above the ground. Wes uses the door latch as an anchor while he desperately pulls the Damsel to safety.
WES HOLLYWOOD
Don’t let go!
DAMSEL
I’ll never let go of you, my champion!
WES HOLLYWOOD
Your champ…ion?
Like an android beginning shut-down protocol, Wes begins to disassociate from the moment. In his trance, Damsel slips from his grasp and she immediately drops…
…only a few feet before a safety harness halts her in mid-air.
DIRECTOR
Cut! Cut! Cut! God dammit, Wes. Take five!
The screen behind him quickly transitions from a deep blue sky to a vibrant green screen. One-by-one, the lighting that illuminated the scene fade off until there’s only one spotlight trained on Wes. He reaches out for something invisible, but yet he is undeniably drawn to it. A musical number begins to coax Wes into song…
WES HOLLYWOOD
Oh wouldn’t it be Grand…
To hold it in my hand.
To hold the power of this land…
[the music swells]
In Maaaaasq-pop-politis!
The helicopter prop is finally lowered to the set floor, and he steps out to a dozen backup singers and dancers joining him. Wes, along with his performers, step towards the retreating camera to the rhythm of the music.
WES HOLLYWOOD
All I’ve ever heard is…
Lights, and camera, and action!
And with a main event win,
I can feel the traction!
To Martillo, Malo, and Muerte
Let me know how it feels…
When ya land ringside – bay bay!
BACKUP SINGERS
Bay bay!
WES HOLLYWOOD
Lights, and camera, and action!
It’s time for that main character energ-ay.
Ya’ll too busy with snake oils, pranks, and trying to get puss-ayyyyy…
I’m main eventing, creating fools… in 4K-ayyyyyy.
BACKUP SINGERS
4K-ayyyyy!
The music hits the apex while Wes and his performers kick the air in a line like Liberace.
WES HOLLYWOOD
Lights, and camera, and action!
Coppin’ the Grand Championship is a main attraction,
And I’m not going to stop until I get my satisfaction…
The spotlight returns exclusively to Wes, and the music halts to a more dramatic tone.
WES HOLLYWOOD
Oh, I’ve never been a champion.
But now I have to rise above several other men…and woman.
And I know my shit is lit,
But could this…be it?
Ah yes…wouldn’t it be…Grand?
To be Grand.
Wes is inundated with roses and the audience applause until the music silences with the final stroke of the maestro.